Framing a Masterpiece

I think I finally get the whole soccer Mom persona. When you are a Mom you have to redefine your entire life. Previous to children the rewards are all about you. You get paid for your job, you get a raise when you do good , you may even win employee of the month... ha. You go on vacations sit by the pool and bask in the sun while drinking a cocktails. You shop for clothes that you don't have to bend over in or worry about staining, you wear make up, do your hair and wear earrings that if you had a child would be ripped from ears. You work out whenever you please and so on. Naturally, or maybe not so, when you become a parent the entire focus shifts onto your children. There is no more "me time" or very little. Your "me time" is 5 minutes here while kids are eating , nap time (if they nap) or after they go to bed. Those precious few hours where you can surf the net, read, write, watch a grown up show or just sit in silence. Still you may not leave the house, so you find quick little ways to reward yourself, a bite of chocolate here, a cookie there a hand full of chips a glass of wine. All of which add up to an extra 15 pounds. That's a whole baby your carrying around. The extra 15 pounds completely changes your perspective. You feel just a bit dumpy so even if you had the time to shower, put on make or do your hair, you don't. Sweats and a T-shirt become your uniform because you can bend over in them without showing the world your crack and if your child gets sick on you ... oh well. I remember thinking to myself before children " I will never look like a dumpy Mom". I can still hear my annoying pre-child voice now. Here I am four years later looking dumpy as ever wanting to change but a small part of me thinking that would be selfish to actually want something for myself. I used to cling onto anything from my past that was "anti Mom" for example my car. I refused to get a mini van because I just could not even go there. Now I find myself wishing I had one because they are so practical.  Side note I am typing this one handed while my son naps on my chest. Anyway back to Soccer moms ..... What I'm trying to say is..... well I get it.... Mom's are just in search of a small reward. A little "employee of the month" in the form of chocolate, chips or a glass of wine. In the long run this is no reward at all but rather your mind telling you it's so. Yes, it is true, you are no longer the picture in your life but rather the frame..... but keep reminding yourself that the frame enhances the picture. No masterpiece has an ugly, ratty run down frame. A Masterpiece needs and thrives on having a beautiful well maintained frame. On that note the next time you go to pick up  the indulgence of day, don't beat yourself up for partaking in the prize but remember that the real reward is framing your masterpiece with true beauty from the inside out.

Finding your way when you get off track

My kids have been sick for what seems like 4 months now. I feel so bad for them I really do, but I need to feel bad for myself too, because I too have been sick for the past 4 months and I am also caring for three children all day and night. I have not slept in weeks and just feel lost. When I begin to spiral downward like this there is always one answer for me and that is to run. Despite the pouring down rain and my head cold, I strap on my running shoes and head out. Before I begin I repeat in my mind "show me the way." I head out and begin to breath, with every step I take I begin to feel better. I feel so good in fact that I continue on a route that I would not usually take and tell myself I will go for a long run today. The rain is starting to really come down and I am soaked from head to toe. I am uncomfortable but feeling strong, as I continue on I realize that I do not recognize the neighborhood I am in. I start to run down dead end after dead end and soon I am starting to panic. I know that eventually I will find the main road but I am not sure if I am physically up for a run of this distance. By this time 2 hours have gone by and I am worried. I have no phone with me to call the babysitter and they have to wonder where I am. I keep running and then I repeat to myself "show me the way." When I started out I was not thinking show me the way in reference to my route but rather in my life..... now I am chanting "show me the way" because I am really lost. As I repeated my mantra in my head what I began to see is that you must trust..... trust the Universe, trust yourself, trust your body and let go of fear.... release the voices in your head and just run. As soon as I did that 10 minutes later there was the main road I knew where I was, I still had another three mile run after that but I knew where I was going.   What I learned from this experience is when you feel lost in your life and things have taken you off track to find your way again you must do the following............

1. Trust yourself

2. Be grateful for your physical body, honor what it does for you

3. Release the fear in your mind, it is just that in your mind.

4. Acknowledge your fear and pain but don't dwell in it.

5. Remember that even if you are headed in the right direction you may still go down a dead-end, just go back and keep heading for the main road, you will get there eventually.

6. learn to enjoy the process or at least see the lessons life is presenting to you and be grateful for that.

I made it home and my kids and the babysitter did not even notice I was gone that long. Soaking wet and feeling like a new person, I hold my babies in my arms so grateful for the journey we are on together.