My kids have been sick for what seems like 4 months now. I feel so bad for them I really do, but I need to feel bad for myself too, because I too have been sick for the past 4 months and I am also caring for three children all day and night. I have not slept in weeks and just feel lost. When I begin to spiral downward like this there is always one answer for me and that is to run. Despite the pouring down rain and my head cold, I strap on my running shoes and head out. Before I begin I repeat in my mind "show me the way." I head out and begin to breath, with every step I take I begin to feel better. I feel so good in fact that I continue on a route that I would not usually take and tell myself I will go for a long run today. The rain is starting to really come down and I am soaked from head to toe. I am uncomfortable but feeling strong, as I continue on I realize that I do not recognize the neighborhood I am in. I start to run down dead end after dead end and soon I am starting to panic. I know that eventually I will find the main road but I am not sure if I am physically up for a run of this distance. By this time 2 hours have gone by and I am worried. I have no phone with me to call the babysitter and they have to wonder where I am. I keep running and then I repeat to myself "show me the way." When I started out I was not thinking show me the way in reference to my route but rather in my life..... now I am chanting "show me the way" because I am really lost. As I repeated my mantra in my head what I began to see is that you must trust..... trust the Universe, trust yourself, trust your body and let go of fear.... release the voices in your head and just run. As soon as I did that 10 minutes later there was the main road I knew where I was, I still had another three mile run after that but I knew where I was going. What I learned from this experience is when you feel lost in your life and things have taken you off track to find your way again you must do the following............
1. Trust yourself
2. Be grateful for your physical body, honor what it does for you
3. Release the fear in your mind, it is just that in your mind.
4. Acknowledge your fear and pain but don't dwell in it.
5. Remember that even if you are headed in the right direction you may still go down a dead-end, just go back and keep heading for the main road, you will get there eventually.
6. learn to enjoy the process or at least see the lessons life is presenting to you and be grateful for that.
I made it home and my kids and the babysitter did not even notice I was gone that long. Soaking wet and feeling like a new person, I hold my babies in my arms so grateful for the journey we are on together.
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