Why are people so rude? Is it just me or are there quite a few angry people out there? I was dropping my son off at school today and while waiting in the carpool line I was on the phone with my Mother wishing her a happy birthday. One of the teachers aides, in a very high pitched voice said"You may not talk on the phone in carpool line!" Now I realize that they deal with parents and kids all day long, but all she needed to do was to say in a nice tone, "May I remind you that there is no cell phones in carpool". Mind you this is someone who teaches my child, so if she is speaking to me this way how might she be speaking to the children? These unlovely people seem to overshadow the kind ones. Do they realize how offensive they are and how selfish it is to put that kind of energy out there. Everytime they are rude they think they are being strong and it gives them a temporary feeling of power. What they do is cause a chain reaction, when someone is rude to you it could cause potential retaliation or going on with your day in bad mood then you put that energy out in the world, and then the people you are rude to do the same to someone else and so on and so forth. Kindness works the same way, that is why there are so many shows, movies, books, etc. on random acts of kindness because the authors are aware of this chain reaction as well. Today, I chose to be sincerely kind to the person who was rude to me. I really felt like telling the b--ch off, but after I cooled off I thought about it and I thought maybe she was having a hard day, maybe she just found out that she is officially in full blown menopase and she will now become dried and shrivelled up (wow that felt good to write that) No really, I bought her a Starbucks card and handed it to her, appoligzed for being on my phone and told her that she seemed as though she were having a rough day that maybe this would help. She seemed shocked and tried to review once again the rules about cell phones, I just smiled and looked into her eyes with much love and compassion and drove off. I felt more powerful in that moment than being rude or complaining to school could have ever done. I learned how to feel true power today. I explained to my son what I did as well. He said he would give her a hug the next time he saw her. I really think that she may be nice from now on, or at least for a while, and when she does that she is going to cause a chain reaction of happiness. I feel powerful.

Yesterday we celebrated the twins birthday. They are one, I can not believe how fast the first year went by. I think partly because I was sleep walking through most of it. No one can ever explain how hard having a child will be to you before you have your own. When I found out I was pregnant with twins I was more afraid than I have ever been in my life. I thought, "how am I going to do this?" I could barely make it with one. Now your telling me I am going to have three. The first six months were insane. They should put every new parent through some sort of military training prior to conception. They would put a recording (that never stopped) of a crying baby on in the cell that they would place you in, deprive you from, sleep, food and water and do that for 6 months. If you made it past that then you can move on to the next phase of the training, "Negotiating with foreigners". This would involve sign language and charades, no one wins and no one understands each other and you do this for 2 years. If you pass then you are awarded with the greatest love you will ever know and you will come out of that training a better and more compassionate person. Your entire perspective on life will change for the better and you will learn how to redefine each moment with grace and ease.
Last night both twins were sick they screamed for a large portion of the night and I was unable to sooth and comfort both of them at the same time. It is heartbreaking to not have enough arms to hold your children when they need you. It becomes like a mini triage, you assess which case is the worst and start there. Often times juggling between both doing everything you can to ease their pain. My guess is that it is not easy being a twin in a situation like that. All I can hope for is that they become able to sooth themselves a little better in life than most. Until then imagine an exhausted lady running back and forth in the middle of the night trying to help everyone to get to sleep with little success. They finally wear themselves out.
I did it! I made it through the first year and everyone is still alive and seems quite happy most of the time! Now phase two "Negotiating with foreigners" X 2. The thought is overwhelming and yet I know that it too will go by fast, and when we get through it I will be a new and different person and be thanking my children for it.

My son has a cold. His nose is running out of control and he has made up his mind that nose wiping is out of the question. I tried running after him around the house and when I finally caught up with him there was two snotty snail trails that looked like war paint across his face. Because he was running they dried on which is problematic because I only have about 5 seconds to attempt to get a wipe in. This is not working so I have to resort plan B which in parenting is, try to be as creative as we can to accomplish task at hand without harming self or child. I found that if I make the tissue look like a rabbit and sing a stupid song about "Little Bunny Foo Foo" scooping up the boogers that he has no problem with wiping the nose. Parenting is exhausting and often humiliating, can you imagine coming up with a stupid song for every task we needed to accomplish with the adults in our lives? Hmm, maybe that would work with some of them. I am so glad I love my children so much. They make me laugh, stay young, force me to be creative, and never let me stay the same, thank you babies!

Why are cheese sticks wrappers so dam hard to undo? Are they not geared toward children? Don't the people who manufacture them have kids? Don't they know that when you have a screaming child at your feet you don't want to have to try desperately with shaking hands to try and find the corner of the wrapper and then when you do the paper does not come all the way off. Then you have to try and dig the cheese out, and you child is yelling "No Mommy I want the whole stick" Now I have to try and sell the kid on two pieces are better than one. I've got to go someone is demanding my attention.

September 16, 2008
To Race or not to Race?
The other day at a party I overheard a group of people saying, “The one thing I dislike about living in our neighborhood is all of the competition”. They cited many examples , for instance camping out the night before the first day of registration for pre-school to get your child enrolled, driving the right car, getting your home to look like a model home, having the most friends, and so on and so forth. I completely empathized with them. I dislike this as well, it's pre-school darn it, not Harvard! I have kids! how do you expect me to live in a model home with three kids, and no, I don't have 654 friends on facebook I only have 65. Where does all of this pressure come from? Have we become so shallow that we expect and expect others to live up to perfection? Are we filling our empty lonely souls with things? Since when did we become such an unforgiving society? It seems as though there are so many unhappy people out there trying to do it all, have the perfect career, house, husband, kids and really ,we are all just suffering on the inside and too proud to admit that all of this “keeping up with the Jone's” is exhausting us and we are still not happy. At the end of the day we are all still just seeking emotional bliss, and we are paving a well intentioned road to hell for ourselves. If someone is in a place where he or she has the need to find perfection in their life, well OK, that is where they are at, should I not be friends with them? Or try desperately to keep up with, well, “The Jone's”. No, I choose not to compete. Does this mean I give up and just let my life go into a state of disarray, of course not. What it does mean is that I love people for what they are and love myself for who I am. If someone judges me because I have toys spread out all over my house and it sounds and looks like a crazy daycare center, well then that is something they deal with. I am choosing to be OK with what I am doing in my life right now even if that means my windows have yogurt hand prints on them. Someday my house may look like a model home but today it is preschool/ yogurt art gallery.
We must embrace the alterations that life delivers us and be OK with what is happening right now and know and be comfortable with the fact that everything in life changes. You are not a messy house, diaper changer, cafeteria worker or a messy mini van driver, these are just the tasks that you perform, it does not define who you are as a person.
My son was asking me for something the other day and I immediately said “no” and he proceeded to tell me “Mommy, things change, you know, like a caterpillar changes into a butterfly'. Well I gave him whatever it was he wanted because my three year is right, things do change and you never know if you stay open minded you may end going from a caterpillar to a butterfly, a change I think most of us would love.
Think of all of this competition like running or any sport. Be a good recreational runner, you don't have to run a marathon or be an elite athlete to be feel good about yourself. Choose not to compete, but if you do choose to compete, be sure that you don't complain if you don't run the fastest or have the best gear and be a good sport to those who do. People enter races all of the time without the intention of winning. They are OK with just finishing or walking if they must. Not all of us are going to be an Olympian at everything we do and that should be OK with us. Stop trying to keep up with your neighbors, stop competing with them and begin to compete with yourself. I think you will find that everything in your life begins to bring a smile to your face, yes , that's right, “happiness”, that thing you were so tirelessly looking for before. Oh and guess what? You may end up being the butterfly who finishes in first place.