Yesterday we celebrated the twins birthday. They are one, I can not believe how fast the first year went by. I think partly because I was sleep walking through most of it. No one can ever explain how hard having a child will be to you before you have your own. When I found out I was pregnant with twins I was more afraid than I have ever been in my life. I thought, "how am I going to do this?" I could barely make it with one. Now your telling me I am going to have three. The first six months were insane. They should put every new parent through some sort of military training prior to conception. They would put a recording (that never stopped) of a crying baby on in the cell that they would place you in, deprive you from, sleep, food and water and do that for 6 months. If you made it past that then you can move on to the next phase of the training, "Negotiating with foreigners". This would involve sign language and charades, no one wins and no one understands each other and you do this for 2 years. If you pass then you are awarded with the greatest love you will ever know and you will come out of that training a better and more compassionate person. Your entire perspective on life will change for the better and you will learn how to redefine each moment with grace and ease.
Last night both twins were sick they screamed for a large portion of the night and I was unable to sooth and comfort both of them at the same time. It is heartbreaking to not have enough arms to hold your children when they need you. It becomes like a mini triage, you assess which case is the worst and start there. Often times juggling between both doing everything you can to ease their pain. My guess is that it is not easy being a twin in a situation like that. All I can hope for is that they become able to sooth themselves a little better in life than most. Until then imagine an exhausted lady running back and forth in the middle of the night trying to help everyone to get to sleep with little success. They finally wear themselves out.
I did it! I made it through the first year and everyone is still alive and seems quite happy most of the time! Now phase two "Negotiating with foreigners" X 2. The thought is overwhelming and yet I know that it too will go by fast, and when we get through it I will be a new and different person and be thanking my children for it.